Heart swell = my heart brimming, usually precipitated by music, yoga, teaching yoga, my cats, hugs, art, occasionally the effects of alcohol.
Today I feel heart swell from none of these things. It is a plain ole’ afternoon, the only noise accompanying me the sound of keys clicking as I work in my dining room, pondering why I never take lunch breaks, sun pouring through the window.
Perhaps it is the sun.
Actually I have felt heart swell all week long, sun or not. I typically theme classes based on what’s happening in my life at the moment. This week, “intention” setting – what is it that we murmur to ourselves on the mat during those few moments before the physical practice begins? Intentions, unlike setting goals, are about releasing expectations for outcomes and instead opening our hands upward, seeking an emotional state, a way of being, something we can cultivate and conjure in that very moment (rather than waiting for days and weeks or years to accomplish something). Often it is very clear to us what we need —
For some this is the essence of prayer. I don’t care what you label it. Some days when we come to the mat – or as soon as our eyes open in the morning, on a particularly difficult day – it is everything just to create an intention without crying, (which is never a comfortable thing in yoga class). This week, my intention: just to keep going. To find inspiration in whatever keeps me moving. To hold fast hope, a song lyric Mike loves. And for others around me to feel it, too, namely my husband.
When you ask (with sincerity) you receive. I’ve always known this to be true, but it amazes me. Joy still abounds. My students, my family, my friends – you may not realize how much you inspire me and allow me to feel loved and supported – but oh, you do. THANK YOU.
Student A – you laughing the whole time, and making me laugh, was the most I’ve laughed in weeks. Thank you.
Student B – you smiling through the practice, that was awesome. Whatever that was about was a blessing to me, too.
Student C – thanks for reaching out to me like that and extending support. I really, really appreciate it.
Friends/family A-Z (too many to count) – words, hugs, messages, texts, prayers, support, distraction. Some of you miraculously and serendipitously said or did something in the very exact moment I needed it. You restore my faith in goodness.